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fucking worried about my back. please let it eventually heal completely, and please let me regain my full mobility. the constant discomfort and limited movement is making me grumpy, distracted and despondent. i want to dance again ):

artist at work
photography and direction: @joeeechua
for CS2006

hi roomie happy (belated) birthday!! we havent known each other for a very long time, but our friendship has accelerated at a rate that has surprised me and made me very grateful to have you in my life. i especially appreciate how we understand each other (almost) fully, and sometimes we quarrel but our friendship is worth so so so much more than that. it’s always a fun time meaningful time a great great time with you, and i am bloody grateful to have you in my life. yay we get to room together again next year!! have a great one today (especially 😏😏😏😏) #roomie #blessing

transcending the boundaries of human willpower by going out last night and still making it to class today. #halfabottleleft #lastclass #hellsem

i really was as happy as i looked. they say all the best people are a little bit cray, and the mad hatter leads them all #madhatter #dance

it’s a scientifically proven fact that once you have something important to accomplish (such as three research papers in the next week), everything that is irrelevant and distracting suddenly becomes a thousand times more interesting and engaging.Β 

four months of intensive trainings for hall dance competition and joint dance concert has finally come to a conclusion. through the process, i have amassed a startling amount of injuries, so surprising that the fact that i am still able to get up in the morning is nothing short of a miracle. old injuries have returned to plague me, and for the first time ever, my back hurts because of excessive use. the latter is the most worrying thing on my mind, because of the dangerous implications and possibly permanent disability due to it. perhaps it’s time to withdraw into an immobile shell and commit myself to solely using the only part of my physical self that hasn’t suffered some sort of traumatic impact (my brain).Β 

nonetheless, this mini-journey has been fairly fulfilling (side note: i would be pissed as shit if i didn’t experience at leastΒ someΒ form of growth as a return for the various ailments i have accumulated). i feel myself growing as a dancer and also as a person, but it’s not easy to quantify these intangible things, so that’s hard to say for sure. but i am a strong advocate of trial by fire, and tempering of character and self through hardship, so i think this process is something that works in my favour. i do feel like these few months have made my system swing wildly out of balance, so i want to regain my centre and bring my mind-heart-body back into the ideal state of stability. the previous sentence is not to be misconstrued as some new-age hippy zen mumbo-jumbo; this is truly how i feel.Β 

checklist for the holidays (hopefully):

internship/ work

r recital

cgl + spms pageant choreo



pressing desire to make sure that my time is well-spent and that i fulfill as many things as i want to and can do. life is no longer about having the best of one thing, i want the best of ALL worlds, and it i have to run myself semi-ragged to get there, i’ll do it. no doubt about that.


My choreo for the opening piece of Hall 2 Livewire’s performance for the 2014 NTU Inter-Hall Dance Competition. #dance #firstitemever

Three devils and a pauper. #ntuhocc2014

Sappho: you strike me with a surprising resonance, even after over two millennia. #classical #poet

Perhaps some mental stimulation will do me some good. staying in bed for the past two days because of this bodily malfunction has caused my muscles to go weak and my brain to turn into mush. also, I have found out that I am only able to watch so many episodes of Friends before my perception of reality starts to warp. and don’t even get me started on flappy bird (stupid fucking game making my sickness worse)

'I cannot agree that “A same-sex relationship is not too different from a heterosexual relationship”. The 2 relationship are different and they go against the Government's policy of promoting heterosexual married couples to have healthy relationships and to build stable nuclear and extended family units. I am utterly disappointed at HPB's stand in issuing such a statement.'

Been thinking about expressing my thoughts on this issue for a while already, but I just haven’t had the opportunity. While my body is in a state of meltdown and collapse, my mind remains sharp (hopefully), and I intend to present my views in a logical, emotionally detached manner.

It is fairly surprising how one can think that the presence of same-sex relationships in a society can affect the healthy relationships and stable family units of heterosexual married couples negatively. from what i can tell, society in Singapore (as we know it) is made up of literally millions of individuals, and these individuals have the liberty as well as the privacy to construct and foster their own relationships with others at their own time. these relationships conventionally do not involve more than two consenting adults at any one time; any external non-related presences, in my humble opinion, are thus rendered irrelevant. as a result, i fail to see how the presence of same-sex relationships would cause a perfectly (and i quote) ‘stable’ family unit to be negatively affected in any way possible.

if my above point is moot, does it mean that these nuclear family units that heterosexual married couples develop are incredibly sensitive to external influences, and as such are much less stable than we think? perhaps this is a case of ‘live and let live’; if family units are purportedly stable enough, as the government has so kindly fostered and promoted over the years, then shouldn’t this unit be able to withstand any sort of trial or influence, and managed to come away none the worse for wear? maybe the debate over same-sex relationships isn’t the primary issue here; it seems like we are all overlooking the possibility that conventional family units may not be as perfectly wholesome and enduring as we all wish it to be. (this will lead to a new debate: maybe same-sex relationships can turn out to be as/more steadfast and sound as traditional family units?)

this was fun.